Sunday, October 4, 2009

I have to trim my nails...Warden's orders.

I think our society goes in Snob Circles. And I mean that in the sense as trends of Snobbery...get it? Like, watch "Titanic" it was all about who was richer, and who had the youngest, virgin wife. Then in the forties, it was who was the most "All-American". Fifties, it was who had adjusted and profited from the post-war the most. Sixties, who could either be so "far-out" and "revolutionary", or who could be the most Pro McCarthy, or the most "square". Seventies, who rocked the best. Eighties, who had the best one bedazzled glove or some shit, I bet. Nineties, who was grunge enough, hardcore enough. And then it progressed into who had the best blond hair, midriff, or Wade Robson dance moves. Eesh. I mean, this is all hypothetical. We'll never surpass the basics: who is richer, thinner, faster, the most famous, the funniest...blah, blah. blah. But do you know what I notice about my generation? To be honest, a few really retarded (for lack of better words) things.
1). Like, who is the most Indie son-of-a-bitch out there. it's like, you aren't a cool person if you listen to a few bands that are mainstream. You're only cool, or intelligent if you listen to obscure bands NO ONE has ever fucking heard of. Why? Because they're so much better? They're saving the world somehow? Sorry I don't know the "Taxi-Cabs That Took Us To Prom" band that plays in the gymnasium of a junior college in Uganda... I'm sure they're great, but I'll stick to my Pink, thanks. Then these people have to watch art films that think they expand their minds. Then they think that somehow, through watching shitty movies and hearing shitty music, that THEY are automatically artists. Sorry, drawing a whale with stripes on it, above an ocean of screen-printed black birds or whatnot, is not fucking art. Okay, if you genuinely enjoy doing these things, cool. But if you're watching and listening to these things just because you don't want to be like everyone else, come on, get over it... I mean, what are you, 16? Mostly it comes from people who are trapped living in a town they hate. They talk shit about it and the people in it, but at the end of the day, they're all pussies who are too afraid to leave. These people then transcend into the...
2). Damn Green People. Whose got the "greenest" car, who brings their burlap grocery bags with them to the market, who wear nothing but hemp. They only buy organic food, they only eat salad, and then they drive around with those fucking Bono bumper stickers. Again, if this is what you're really into, great. I mean, I worry about my planet, I like dolphins and shit. But we should have been doing this 20 years ago, not all of a sudden. I mean, I recycled even when it wasn't cool. I even separated the eggshells. Don't damn me for driving a Jeep that has shitty MPG ratings (btw, I miss my Ford Exploder. I guess it's the dyke in me, but I love my cars big.) I eat rare steaks, use plastic bags, and if I had the money, yeah, I'd probably buy a fur coat....they're soft and keep you warm = awesome.
3). The Frenemy People.
Okay...you don't like me, I don't like you...but yet, you're my friend on Facebook. Is it just to monitor me, and then suddenly pop up when I've experienced some terrible fuck-up and be like, "Ha! Well...such is life, man." And then laugh about me to your friends? I just understand it. I take glances at "The Hills" and shit like that, and it's like how you can be a big bitch yet still be someone's friend at the same time. If you don't like me, then don't talk to me. Simple as that.
Ugh, I should really retire to my chambers now.

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